| I feel like crying.
Pretty much the people i expected to hear
from...didn't really hear from them.
Why is that.?! When it's a special day for them
i prepare myself for it. I make sure i DONT forget.
i wanna make them feel like i still REALLY care.
but really, where are my real friends.?
Did i meet them already. =/
*Sigh...other thing..
I thought this day would be a different day.
A day where i actually get part of your time.
A time when you adjust to me..
but really, i feel like i'm just an option.
I make you my priority, and you make me an option.
Yet another year older. another year i become sad.
Next time, "I' should forget my own bday.
so i'd treat it like a normal fckn day and not expect too much.
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| Sometimes a simple nudge would do.
Really... Something that small would make me
happy. It's really not much.
Or maybe it's just a hassle and takes up a lot
of time... maybe about 3 seconds.?HAH.
Whatever~
-- A little sign of effort please.
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| April 21,2008.[Guam time]<3
We've known each other for 9 months now.
and tomorrow counts as 5 official months
being in a relationship with you.
& it's been 5 months and 10 days since i said
i love you for the first time.
When you look at these numers, it seems as if
we've known each other for a short amount of time.
but it feels like it's been FOREVER.
Throughout those 9 months getting to know you.
We've been through so much<3
I love you, Francis.
Lets stay strong.
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| All of the sudden i feel irritated. idk why.
I'm not sure if i'm mad or whatever.
Just to get things straight.
Yes, I don't have a perfect family.We're not rich.
We can't afford all those luxurious shit in the world.
My parents may not be technologically illiterate and shit.
But what the fuck ever okay.!? They raised me up properly.
Just because they're not as intelligent as your fuckn parents
doesn't mean you have the right to put them or me down.
Go ahead, think bad of them or look down on them.
You guys are worthless piece of shit,!
I believe in what I wanna believe in.
I may not go to church every week or i may not even go
to Church at all, but hey.. That doesn't make me a bad person.
It doesn't mean i don't go to church.
I hate it when people make me feel like i'm some sinner or i'm
going to hell just because I don't go to Church.
I may not memorize all the prayers, but I do pray on my own time.
If i had the choice, yes i'd be at Church every week, but i'm just
limited to do so. Nobody will ever change the things I believe in.
Let me be who i wanna fuckn be! Who ever reads this and ends
up feeling bad, I apologize.
One more thing. Stop expecting so much from me! I may not be the
SMARTEST girl out there, but i'm really trying. You people have no
idea how hard i'm trying to make myself seem like a better person.
Every time people compare themselves with me, I just end up feeling
bad.! So quit it. I don't care if i'm not as smart as all the other girls out
there, but I have common sense and i know what to do and what NOT
to do.
Whatever.
Oh & i'm just letting out the things i wanna say.
This doesn't go out to any specific people.
Bye.
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Some people just really take my friendship for granted.
You know what.?! FUCK YOU!!! if it wasnt for me
you wouldnt even have all the fckn friends you have now!
you fckn gay son of a bitch!!! you conceited FUCK!
just cus i told you girls think youre cute.? you think im serious!
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!
You were just someone who tagged along with me. & i allowed
that to happen cus i fckn felt bad for you! BUT NO!!!! now its
like we're not cool.? you act super messed up to me.?!
throw your shit at me.?! GRRR FUCK YOU!!
i hate you statesiders! fake ass people!!!!! ksdjflajksflkhtkjrf
I CAN NEVER CONSIDER ANY OF YOU FRIENDS!!!
fuuuck!
i hate it here.
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